How Manipulation and Gaslighting Change Thinking and Behavior
In my experience, these forms of abuse altered my behavior and sense of self in profound ways:
Self-Doubt: I started second-guessing my intuition and decisions, questioning my worth and abilities.
Hyper-Vigilance: Constantly anticipating the abuser’s reactions kept me on edge.
Dependency: I became reliant on the abuser for validation and approval, unaware of my own strength.
In the cycle of abuse, manipulation and gaslighting often fall into the phases of tension-building and
maintaining control. These tactics are designed to keep victims trapped in self-doubt, disconnected from their
own agency.
Countering the Behavior: Reclaiming Your Power
Breaking free started with small but impactful steps:
Set Boundaries: I learned to clearly state my limits, e.g., “I will not tolerate being spoken to like this.”
Affirm Your Reality: I practiced saying, “I know what I saw, and I trust my memory.”
Build a Support System: Sharing my experiences with trusted friends, family, and a therapist helped me
feel heard and validated.
Grounding Yourself During Flashbacks
During moments when I felt myself revisiting those painful times, these techniques provided stability:
1.5-4-3-2-1 Technique: Identify five things you see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can
smell, and one you can taste.
2.Deep Breathing: Inhale for four counts, hold for four, exhale for six.
3.Affirmations: Repeat phrases like, “I am safe now,” or “This is not my reality anymore.”
Being Kind to Yourself
One of the most transformative aspects of healing was learning to treat myself with kindness:
Acknowledge Progress: Celebrate small victories in reclaiming autonomy and emotional clarity.
Practice Self-Compassion: Treat myself with the same understanding and love I would offer a friend.
Engage in Self-Care: Prioritize activities that nourish my body, mind, and soul.
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