She Talks
Magazine
Magazine
Stories of Breast Cancer
Survivors from She Talks
Members
October 2025
www.shetalksmag.com
Vol 2 | Issue 10
Featuring
Shelley Cowan
Makeup Scares
and how to fix them
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FROM THE EDITOR
Founder, Lead and Empower Her She Talks
October is a month of courage.
It’s the month we wear pink ribbons in solidarity with the women who have
fought—and continue to fight—breast cancer. It’s the month we recognize
the daily strength of those living with disabilities, reminding the world that
power, brilliance, and purpose take many forms.
This issue is filled with stories of resilience, hope, and transformation. Our
featured breast cancer survivors share their journeys with raw honesty
and radiant strength. They’ve faced fear, uncertainty, and loss—and yet,
they remind us that even in the hardest seasons, there is still beauty,
purpose, and peace. Their stories are not only about surviving, but about
finding joy again and using their voices to inspire others to keep going.
We are also deeply honored to feature Shelley Cowan for Disability
Awareness Month. Shelley’s story is a powerful reflection of perseverance
and purpose. Through her advocacy, creativity, and leadership, she’s
redefining what it means to live fully and authentically. She reminds us
that our limitations never define us—our courage, resilience, and faith do.
At She Talks, we believe in celebrating the full spectrum of what it means
to be human—our challenges, our triumphs, and our unwavering hope. This
month’s issue shines a light on the women who rise from struggle and turn
their pain into purpose, reminding us all that strength doesn’t always roar;
sometimes, it whispers, “keep going.”
As you read these stories, may you find a spark of courage within yourself.
Whether you are fighting your own battle, standing beside someone you
love, or simply needing a reminder of your own strength—know that you
are part of this incredible sisterhood of warriors, dreamers, and doers.
Together, we rise.
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By Mamie-Jean Lamley
People are not stupid. When communication fails, it is not
intelligence that is missing. It is a connection. When the
message does not land, clarity disappears.
Misunderstanding grows. Trust erodes. And here is the truth:
when people don't get it, the failure does not belong to
them. It belongs to the communicator.
When communication connects, people rise. Influence
expands. Alignment strengthens. Impact multiplies.
SHE TALKS | 5
Leadership does not measure itself by applause.
Leadership defines itself in the integrity of unseen
choices. The quiet yes makes the difference. Some
leaders chase recognition and noise. Others carve a
legacy in the unseen moments that ripple long after
the room is empty.
The most powerful yes never shouts. It whispers in
private with no spotlight and no script. And when this
happens, that whisper becomes the roar of your
leadership.
THE RESPONSIBILITY OF
COMMUNICATION
The responsibility of communication belongs to the
communicator. Leadership means you own the
message. If people do not understand, you go back.
You reframe. You try again.
You listen with your eyes as much as your ears. You
notice the energy shift. You read the silence between
words. You adjust your delivery until clarity lands.
Effective communication never bullies. It clarifies. It
connects. It lands. It is not about saying more. It is
about saying it in a way others can hear, see, and feel.
When you own this responsibility, you open the door
to trust. You create alignment. You build a connection.
That is the foundation of influence.
Every behavior reflects the model of the world
someone holds. When communication fails, it is not
because they lack intelligence. It is because the
message does not align with how they receive and
process information. People communicate through
their own lenses: visual, auditory, and kinesthetic. If
you fail to speak in a way someone understands, you
label them instead of adjusting your delivery.
The next time someone doesn't understand, refrain
from labeling them. Pause. Ask yourself:
How can I rephrase this?
Am I speaking their language, or do I expect them
to understand mine?
When you change your approach, you change the
outcome. That is the quiet yes of leadership in action.
THE COSTS OF LOW EQ
When emotional intelligence is missing, the costs are
undeniable. Leaders appear polished on stage, yet
they often lose their people behind the curtain. I
witnessed it. More than 100 people logged into the
meeting. A leader opened with ridicule and profanity.
Others joined in. Laughter rolled. Cameras went dark.
People clicked out. Trust evaporated in silence.
In a single moment, leadership collapsed. Not because
people were unwilling, but because communicators
were careless. That is the cost. Influence lost.
Credibility gone. Leadership reduced to performance.
Here is what else shows up when leaders miss the
quiet yes:
Misunderstandings that fracture trust
Commands without connection
Teams that perform tasks without purpose
Conversations that divide instead of unite
The quiet yes is strength. It is a discipline. It is
alignment. It is emotional intelligence alive and
in action. Awareness to pause. Courage to listen.
Wisdom to align words with values, and the
responsibility to adjust until the connection
lands.
It shows up in five ways:
Self-awareness: The yes to pause and reflect
before reacting. Presence anchored in truth,
not performance.
Self-regulation: The yes to patience over
impulse and responsibility over excuses. Low
EQ reacts. High EQ regulates.
Motivation: The yes to growth over comfort
and purpose over popularity. Legacy builds
itself on what you sustain when no one claps.
Empathy: The yes to listen, understand, and
dignify. People rarely remember your
résumé. They always remember how you
made them feel.
Social intelligence: The yes to connection
over competition and contribution over
control, and leadership lives in the trust you
create.
THE QUIET POWER DEFINED
YOUR INVITATION
The world is loud with performance. The world
longs for resonance.
Say yes to integrity when compromise tempts
you.
Say yes to truth when silence feels safer.
Say yes to empathy when judgment feels easier.
Say yes to adjusting your delivery until you make
the connection.
Your quiet yes is not only heard. Others will feel
it. It echoes long after the meeting ends, the
conversation closes, and the spotlight dims.
The world is waiting for communicators who do
not just talk about impact. The world is waiting
for communicators who embody it.
The returns of emotional intelligence compound in
the unseen. Every whisper of alignment becomes a
wave of influence.
The power of your quiet yes does not shout. It
shifts. It moves rooms. It shapes legacy in silence
before it ever echoes in sound. It becomes the
anchor of your leadership. Your quiet yes is the
leadership the world is waiting for.
"Your quiet yes becomes the force that shapes
trust, moves people, and anchors legacy."
When is NOW a good time to lead differently?
FINAL REFLECTION
CONNECT WITH MAMIE
https://www.facebook.com/mamie.lamley/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/mamielamley/
https://www.instagram.com/mamielamley
YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/@empowermentonfire
https://www.pinterest.com/mamielamley
Tiktok
https://www.tiktok.com/@mjlamley
Website
https://www.i3empowermentsolutions.com/
SHE TALKS | 7
Take Control
of your Finances: Negotiate, Save, and Build
Lasting Wealth
inancial freedom is not just a dream; it is a goal that anyone can achieve with the right mindset
and strategies. Many people believe that they are at the mercy of their credit card companies
and financial institutions, but the truth is, you hold the power to take control of your financial
future. By learning how to negotiate your debt, categorize your expenses, and build a strong
financial foundation, you can experience true financial growth and ultimately create wealth
that lasts.
By Kris (Money Maestro) Miller
SHE TALKS | 8
The Power of
Negotiation
Did you know that you can negotiate your debt with credit card companies? Many people turn to third-
party companies to do this for them, but you can take charge yourself. Call your credit card company
and tell them you want to negotiate your debt. If you can’t pay $100, offer to pay $25 instead. If they
say no, ask to speak with a supervisor. Keep pushing upward because, at the end of the day, they want
their money, and they will work with you. Credit card companies pile on excessive interest, and by
negotiating, you can lower your debt and start freeing yourself financially. This process is the first step
toward creating income you will never outlive and achieving long-term financial security.
SHE TALKS | 9
The Importance of a Rainy Day Fund
Before you can even set a realistic budget,
you need to have a solid emergency fund
in place. A six to eight-month rainy day
fund is essential to ensure financial
stability during unexpected
circumstances. It’s surprising how many
wealthy individuals have all their assets
tied up in their businesses but lack this
fundamental safety net. Building this fund
is critical in times of uncertainty and is a
key element of financial growth. Having an
emergency fund allows you to handle
unforeseen expenses without
accumulating more debt, setting you up to
create wealth that stands the test of time.
Categorizing Your Expenses Wisely
One of the most effective ways to take
control of your finances is by categorizing
your expenses. Breaking down your
financial obligations into three categories
helps you see where your money is going
and what areas you can adjust.
Living Expenses – These are non-debt
payments such as food, utilities, gas, and
cell phones. These expenses are
necessary, but with careful planning, you
can find ways to cut back and save.
Secured Debt Payments – This includes
mortgages, car loans, and student loans.
These payments are tied to assets, but
you may be able to renegotiate terms.
With interest rates still relatively low, now
is the time to act.
Unsecured Debt Payments – These
include credit cards and medical bills,
which can often be negotiated down.
Understanding how to lower these
obligations is a critical step toward
creating income you will never outlive.
Build a Strong Financial Future
Once you’ve negotiated your debt,
categorized your expenses, and built your
emergency fund, it’s time to focus on
long-term financial security. The key is to
allocate your income wisely:
How much do you have left over after
paying your necessary expenses?
How much debt do you still need to
pay off?
How much are you putting into savings
and investments?
By answering these questions and making
a solid plan, you can begin to create
wealth that provides financial
independence for years to come. When
you take control of your financial
situation, you pave the way for
sustainable financial growth and ensure
that you create income you will never
outlive.
Conclusion
You are not powerless when it comes to
your financial future. By negotiating your
debt, establishing a rainy day fund,
categorizing your expenses, and making
smart financial decisions, you can break
free from the chains of debt and build
lasting wealth. Start today, take action,
and watch as your financial health
transforms. The road to financial freedom
is within your grasp—step forward and
claim it!
linktr.ee/healthymoneyhappylife;
https://www.linkedin.com/in/krismiller-legacywealth/
Do you have questions? Email me at
Kris@HealthyMoneyHappyLife.com
Connect with Kris
SHE TALKS | 10
Disability Awareness Month
Feature
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SHE TALKS |11
When I first met Shelley Cowan at our
She Talks Ireland event, there were two
things I noticed immediately.
First, she was practically glowing — her
smile radiant, her energy magnetic. She
had a warmth that filled the entire room,
and people naturally gravitated toward
her.
The second thing I noticed stopped me in
my tracks. A woman was gently helping
Shelley to stand, to walk, even to lift a
glass of water to her lips. I was instantly
intrigued. Having grown up with a mother
who often used a motorized cart and a
grandfather who was disabled, I was no
stranger to the world of accessibility
challenges. But something about Shelley
was different. She radiated joy, not
limitation. Her presence was a paradox of
quiet strength and vibrant energy. I had
to know more.
That conversation changed me.
Shelley lives with Severe Myalgic
Encephalomyelitis (M.E.), a debilitating
neurological disease she’s battled for nearly
30 years. For 12 of those years, she was
completely confined to bed — unable to move
her limbs, blind, and tube-fed. Even after that,
she relied on a wheelchair for over a decade.
Most would have every reason to turn inward,
to give up hope. But Shelley chose something
different. She chose life.
“Despite my challenges, I’ve learned to
be resilient,” Shelley says. “I live life to
the fullest — even though I still require
24/7 care. I dance, I act, I’ve gone zip
lining, indoor skydiving, even on
rollercoasters. I don’t want my disability
to define my limits.”
SHE TALKS | 12
Through her lived experience, Shelley saw the deep gaps in accessibility across society — from
venues and restrooms to transportation, tourism, and education. She encountered
discrimination and barriers almost daily. But rather than letting frustration consume her, she
turned it into fuel for change.
In 2020, Shelley founded JustUs, an organization dedicated to creating safe, inclusive, and
accessible social events for adults with disabilities. Her vision was simple yet revolutionary: to
make joy, community, and belonging accessible to everyone.
Her advocacy didn’t stop there. While using voice-assisted technology, Shelley earned a Master’s
in International Business with first-class honors, basing her research on accessibility within the
global hospitality industry. Her findings were eye-opening — major systemic failures were
excluding millions of individuals from participating fully in everyday experiences.
This research inspired her next venture, Access Avenue, a consultancy that helps organizations
design inclusive environments while recognizing the economic impact of accessibility. She often
educates business leaders about the “Purple Pound” — the collective spending power of persons
with disabilities, estimated at £274 billion annually in the U.K. alone.
“Accessibility isn’t just a compliance issue,” Shelley explains. “It’s a human issue — and it’s a
business opportunity. Inclusion benefits everyone.”
SHE TALKS | 13
Her dedication and leadership have earned her national recognition. Shelley was named Community Champion of
the Year by The Impartial Reporter in 2024, became the first Purple Tuesday Advocate in Northern Ireland, and
serves on the Fermanagh and Omagh Council Access Advisory Group.
Through her Witshelley blog, she shares her advocacy journey and raises awareness about accessibility issues.
She has also spoken on multiple platforms — from Rotary Ireland and local councils to podcasts and radio
stations around the world — using her voice to open doors for others.
Perhaps her proudest accomplishment
came in 2024 when she organized the first-
ever “Proud to Be Me” event in Enniskillen
during Disability Awareness Month,
celebrating individuals with disabilities and
creating a space for visibility,
empowerment, and joy.
Her long list of certifications and training in
equality, diversity, safety, and inclusion
reflects her professional expertise — but it’s
her compassion and courage that truly
define her. She’s the kind of leader who
doesn’t just talk about accessibility; she
lives it.
As we celebrate Disability Awareness
Month, Shelley’s story reminds us that
inclusion is not charity — it’s humanity. It’s
about seeing people for their possibilities,
not their limitations.
Shelley’s dream is as bold as her spirit:
“A world with inclusive, sustainable futures
for all.”
And if you’ve ever met her, even for a
moment, you know — that dream feels
entirely within reach.
SHE TALKS | 15
Shelley Cowan’s passion for accessibility
and inclusion continues to break new
ground in the tech world. Her inclusive
travel solution, designed to make travel
easier and more accessible for people with
disabilities, has gained remarkable
recognition. Just two weeks ago Shelley won
the Diversity and Tech Award for Special
Initiative, triumphing over global giants such
as Yahoo International and JP Morgan. She
was also named a finalist in the National
Diversity Awards U.K. for Entrepreneur of
Excellence, celebrating her visionary
leadership and commitment to driving
equality through innovation.
Award-Winning Advocate and Innovator
Connect with Shelley
“An inclusive sustainable
future for all”
https://www.facebook.com/michelle.cowan.927/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/shelley-cowan-59a6b3125/
Beyond the Pink
Stories From She Talks Survivors
By She Talks Team
very scar tells a story, and every story reminds us
we’re not alone. Within the She Talks community,
courage isn’t just a concept—it’s lived, breathed,
and spoken out loud. This month, we share the
deeply personal journeys of She Talks members who
have faced breast cancer and emerged with
renewed strength, wisdom, and purpose. Their experiences reveal
more than just survival; they expose the quiet battles with fear,
the frustration of being unheard, the beauty of resilience, and the
unwavering power of women standing together.
From early detection to advocacy, from isolation to
empowerment, these women open their hearts to help others see
what’s possible on the other side of diagnosis. Each voice carries
a different rhythm—some raw, some reflective—but all rise in
unison to say: we are here, we are healing, and we are stronger
together.
DEBBIE
HARRIS
“The last day of 2020, and I found
out I had cancer.”
For Debbie Harris, New Year’s Eve of 2020
didn’t come with fireworks or champagne
toasts. Instead, it brought a phone call that
would change everything. After a routine
mammogram and follow-up ultrasound,
doctors found a small tumor. A biopsy
confirmed it: breast cancer.
“I’ll never forget it,” Debbie says. “The last day
of the year, and I found out I had cancer.”
Debbie’s diagnosis came during the height of
Covid-19, a time when many women were
facing delays of months before they could be
treated. But Debbie received swift, attentive
care at the Comprehensive Cancer Center of
Las Vegas.
“I have to give credit where it’s due,” she says.
“My surgeon, Dr. Jennifer Baynosa, and my
oncologist, Dr. Karen Jacks, were incredible.
They explained everything, listened to me,
and got me into treatment quickly. I was very
fortunate.”
Her experience stood in stark contrast to
other women she spoke with, who endured
long waits or discouraging conversations with
physicians.
“It makes such a difference when your medical
team treats you with compassion,” she says.
Early Detection Saved Her Life
Because Debbie had been proactive about
annual mammograms since her mid-thirties,
her cancer was detected at its earliest stages.
“The tumor was so small my doctor couldn’t
even feel it,” she recalls. “If I hadn’t gone in,
who knows what would’ve happened?”
In January 2021, she underwent a
lumpectomy in Las Vegas, followed by three
weeks of targeted radiation therapy. Her
treatment plan also included letrozole, an
estrogen-blocking medication.
“It wasn’t easy,” she admits. “The medication
triggered menopause symptoms again, and
emotionally it was a roller coaster. But I
trusted my doctors. They told me this would
dramatically reduce the risk of recurrence—
and that was worth it.”
“Get the mammogram. I wouldn’t
be here if I hadn’t.”
Facing Cancer in the Midst of
Covid
While cancer treatment is physically grueling,
Debbie insists mindset plays a powerful role.
She leaned on the writings of Neville Goddard,
practiced visualization, and refused to let fear
dominate her outlook.
“My radiologist told me I didn’t have side
effects because I didn’t expect to,” she recalls.
“That really stuck with me. I chose to keep
moving, to keep living, and it made all the
difference.”
Her doctors reinforced that women who
maintain a positive outlook often respond
better to treatment—a belief Debbie’s
experience supports.
Choosing Privacy
Unlike many survivors who openly share their
cancer journey, Debbie kept her diagnosis
private at the time—even leaving it out of her
published book.
“I didn’t want it to be a fallback reason for
anything I accomplished,” she explains. “I
didn’t want people to say, ‘Oh, she did that
because of cancer.’ My programs, my growth,
my book—they were already happening.”
She only told a handful of people, including
her son, who wasn’t happy she had waited
until after surgery to share the news. But for
Debbie, protecting her story was an act of
strength.
“It wasn’t shame,” she says. “It was about
ownership.”
The Power of Mindset
“I didn’t have time to be tired. I
was running a company and
traveling. I just kept going.”
Lessons Every Woman Needs
to Hear
Debbie is adamant that her journey carries
lessons for others:
Get screened. “There’s debate about
mammograms, but I say this: mine saved
my life.”
Advocate for yourself. “Every woman I
know had to push for the care they
needed. Don’t be afraid to demand
answers or find new doctors.”
Protect your mindset. “A hopeful outlook
doesn’t erase the challenges, but it helps
you face them with strength.”
Own your story. “Share it—or don’t share it
on your own terms. There’s no right or
wrong way.”
She also highlights a growing concern: rising
rates of aggressive breast cancer in younger
women. “Both my surgeon and oncologist said
they’re seeing more severe cases in younger
patients,” she notes. “It makes me wonder
about environmental or dietary factors.
Something is happening—and we need to pay
attention.”
Hope in the Journey
Today, Debbie continues her medication and
routine check-ups, living with gratitude and
purpose. She balances traditional medicine
with wellness practices, and she speaks out so
other women will prioritize their health.
Her journey is not just about surviving cancer
it’s about reshaping fear into empowerment.
“Cancer is terrifying,” she admits. “But it
doesn’t define me. What defines me is how I
chose to respond.”
And that response, in Debbie’s case, is a
legacy of resilience, advocacy, and hope.
SHE TALKS | 18
Connie Bell
A Survivor’s Blueprint—From BRCA Discovery to Bold Advocacy
When Connie Bell was diagnosed with breast
cancer in 2008, she didn’t crumble—she
convened. The Sunday after she got the call,
family and friends arrived for dinner and
found handouts, a sign-up calendar for rides
and appointments, and a woman who had
already decided how she would fight. “I’m a
businesswoman,” Connie says. “I needed a
strategy. That structure became my strength.”
Her story—part grit, part grace—now powers
the way she advocates for other women. It
also guides her through an even harder
chapter: shepherding her two adult daughters
through the genetic and medical labyrinth
that followed Connie’s own diagnosis.
A few weeks after a routine mammogram came
back clear, Connie felt a persistent, painless
“boil-like” knot under her arm. She was
traveling for work, living on back-to-back
conference calls, and wrote it off. A friend
finally emailed her doctor on her behalf. An
urgent clinic visit turned into a same-day
ultrasound, then an on-the-spot biopsy. The
radiologist looked at the sample and said
quietly: “I’m 99.9% sure this is breast cancer.”
“The world went dim for a second,” Connie
remembers. “I couldn’t even remember where
I’d parked.” Within days, she pivoted into
action—assembling a care team, mapping
treatment, and rallying support.
“I turned my diagnosis into a
plan. Clipboards, calendars,
assignments—because that’s how
I move through a crisis.”
The Missed Mammogram—and
the Moment Everything
Changed
“Your plan has to fit your
personality. Advice that ignores
who you are can make you feel
smaller in the moment you need
to feel biggest.”
Building a Team—and Learning
to Interview Your Doctors
Connie credits much of her outcome to
assembling the right clinicians—and to
interviewing them. A scheduling clerk casually
asked, “Who would you choose for your own
mom?” and pointed Connie to a top surgeon
and oncologist. That question changed the
game.
SHE TALKS | 19
“Women research restaurants more than we
research doctors,” Connie says. “Read reviews.
Ask other women. If a specialist doesn’t listen
or doesn’t have options, keep looking.”
She later helped one daughter land with a
research oncologist—someone steeped in
trials and new modalities—because “we
needed choices that didn’t exist in the
standard pathway.” That decision, she
believes, opened doors at critical moments.
When the Story Becomes
Genetic
After moving to Texas, Connie’s care pathway
included a genetics consult. Testing confirmed a
BRCA mutation, and both daughters were
tested. Their paths diverged from there:
Jillian (35): Diagnosed with stage IV breast
cancer. Her journey has included brain
radiation, and next, a procedure to freeze
tumors. The family continues to seek
research-forward options.
Jerryn: Pursued preventive surgeries—an
oophorectomy went smoothly, but after her
double mastectomy, breast reconstruction
spiraled into complications. She is now
recovering from her eighth surgery.
Connie wants women to hear something few are
told plainly: “If I’m BRCA-positive and my
daughters are negative, there’s no reason to
assume my granddaughters inherited it through
me. It generally doesn’t ‘skip’ generations. That
eased a lot of fear in our family.”
“Push for the genetic test if
there’s cancer in your family. And
if you’re the one with cancer, you
getting tested can unlock testing
for everyone else.”
Money, Access, and the (Often)
Invisible Safety Net
Connie is candid about the role insurance
plays—and about the alternatives many never
hear about.
External imaging centers: “When the
hospital wait was a month, we found an
outside MRI provider and got in within a
week—for less money.”
Hospital funds & grants: “Ask social work
about internal funds and manufacturer
programs for medications. Jillian received
a grant right when we faced a $9,000 test.”
Clinical trials: Connie enrolled in a blanket
study during her own treatment. “I got an
extra nurse contact and felt like I was
helping other women behind me. Trials can
bring options and attention you don’t get
otherwise.”
Her refrain: no one volunteers this
information. You have to ask.
The Bias and Biology Few Talk
About
As a Black woman, Connie learned the
language of benign ethnic neutropenia—lower
baseline white counts more common in
people of African descent—which complicated
her chemo schedule and forced costly
growth-factor shots. “Back then it was $600 a
day for two weeks at a time,” she says.
“Women can’t afford that—especially when no
one tells you help exists.”
The lesson? Biology intersects with inequity.
“The system is not set up to see you—your
context, your finances, your baseline. You
need a clinician who will.”
“We’re excellent advocates—for
our kids, our parents, our teams.
Turn that same energy on
yourself.”